bests of the week

mirc and msn otw

1) #christian: Laughing for Jesus

(Harridan) God bless all here
(Lovemaus) cheers
(Harridan) where everybody knows your name

2) Peter's Bens

Peter: i saw your ben moor
Peter: on the telly
Peter: on alan partridge
Maus: what was ben doing?
Peter: he was a clown
Peter: i saw it on his website
Peter: then i was watching it and i said to zoe 'thats leilas ben moor'
Peter: but she didnt know who you were
Peter: or he was
Peter: for that matter
Peter: she didnt enquire any further either who you were or who he was
Peter: so it was a rubbish anecdote
Peter: i might start making stuff up when watching telly with folk
Peter: "thats leila's trevor mcdonald"
Peter: maybe even in films with shit actors
Peter: stand up in the cinema
Peter: "thats fucking leilas fucking ben stiller"
Peter: "fucking"
Maus: yes hahaha
Peter: then one day mrs guttenberg might say "eh, look, that's my fucking steves leila"
Maus: hahahaha
Peter: then one day you'll be watching telly with tommy steel and say 'that's peter's judge rheinolds"
Maus: haha
Peter: or 'judge rheinolds pete'
Peter: no you wont


3) Must Hate It

Lovemaus: Must Have It leavers questionnaire- "how satisfied were you with your basic salary"
th0m: *actual laugh*
Lovemaus: 1 = totally dissatisfied
th0m: fuck's sake
Lovemaus: then i stopped reading
th0m: is there a MINUS NUMBER
Lovemaus: hahaha
Lovemaus: there is a notes section
Lovemaus: I'm writing "I'm only circling this because your scale starts at 1"


4) Shrek off

Maus: sandy's just informed me, with some urgency, that shrek2 is now out
Tom: are you making an excite
Maus: yes, that's right
Maus: oooh
Tom: hahaha
Maus: can't wait
Maus: oohh dont need to
Maus: it's like christmas morning round here, I can tell you
Tom: maybe then you can watch the green wing
Maus: i like the green wing
Tom: especially that bloke in it
Maus: he's my favourite
Maus: mmmmm
Tom: maybe then you can watch a hear'say video
Maus: i'm a bit surprised i don't have one
Tom: your day will be complete


5) Election Special! Thanks to Dave for the tip off and for a new Why Not Try


http://www.dailykos.com/story/2004/11/2/10824/4244

IRC #election2004 (juvenilia for the day)
by curlif
Tue Nov 2nd, 2004 at 14:08:24 GMT


Kerry: w00t!
Bush: wtf?
Kerry: I r TEH WINNAR!!!1!!!
Bush: bu-wah?
Kerry: 312 - 222 ... rawr!!1!
Bush: r0ve!!
Rove whimpers
Kerry: pwned!
Bush: Wah!
Kerry: hooz ur d4ddy?
Bush: WAAH!
Cheney: Grrr.
Edwards bounces with glee.
Cheney: GRRRRRRR!!!!
Edwards: We won! We won!
Mary: Yay! 4 more years of bush!
Cheney has a cardiac arrest

//more...

Diaries :: curlif's diary ::

Kerry: STFU veep u r 2 l4m3. I r0xx0r.
Edwards: Yessirree, John. You're the boss, boss.
Bush: Wah! But u r teh c4r3b34r!!
Kerry: U R TEH L0Z3.
Kerry: kthxbye
Bush: WAAAAAH! 41! h3lp!!!1!1!1
Bush 41: Drink, anyone?
Kerry: lol
Bush: Waaaah! m0m!!!1!!
BabaBush: Not now, Georgie, I'm talking to Jeb.
Kerry: LOLOLOLOL!!1!1111
Ketchup: Nous sommes les victeurs!
Laura: WTF? I made cookies.
Ketchup: I pwn Pepperidge Farm.
Bush prays
Jesus: Did you READ the New Testament?
O'Reilly: WTF? whr z mah loofah n flafl
Murdoch: Foiled again! I'd have gotten away for it if it weren't for
those pesky kids!!1!!11!
Soros: pwn3d!
Kerry: luser
Coulter: OMFG!!1!!1! I r teh cnut
World: sh1t. m4j0r pwn4g3! dr1v3by!!

January 1, 2005
Kerry: OMFG. Bush fuXX0red teh UAofS. now I r fuXX0r3d 2
Bush: wftpwn3d!!1!!one


6) Freshers

Tom: in freshers week they gave me a sexual health pack
Maus: what was in it?
Maus: condoms and a leaflet about chlamydia?
Tom: it had a normal condom in a yellow packet, marked for "vaginal intercourse",and another extra-strong condom in a scary black packet along with a little single- serving david sachet of lube
Maus: hahaha david sachet
Tom: it is a true
Maus: i think i got some hair mousse and some condoms
Tom: hahah everything you need for sexual health
Tom: mine also had a card about meningitis, very confusingly
Maus: can you catch mingingitis from making sexes?
Tom: all i know about it is that i have to roll a glass on my arm
Tom: i don't understand why
Tom: i am making a fix of my mingingitis
Tom: making a roll
Tom: am i better


7) Fist of Filth

Maus: if i get my why not trys published in a little book will it be breaching your copyright?
Richard: yes
Maus: really
Richard: do you care
Maus: only if you sue me
Richard: probably not
Richard: i don't think we copyrighted the phrase and even if we had we wouldn't do anything
Richard: i am sure you can find some way to pay me back
Maus: will you and/or stew write an introduction to it?
Maus: FOR FREE?
Richard: in all probability
Maus: ace
Richard: if you make it worth my while
Maus: ok. i'll send you a free copy
Richard: that's all i wanted
Maus: yes. that is what i thought
Richard: good
Richard: i'm not giving you my idea AND giving you sex for free!


8) Babycakes

tom: jane pre-empted it by emailing me and asking if there was "anything nutty about leila that i should be aware of? religion, food requirements, can't stand babies (not that i can do much about that one) etc?"
tom: i said that the only thing you eat is babies
tom: and that it was your religion
tom: so all of the above

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Emails otw

1) From Dad

What version of Publisher do you have? I might be able to save in earlier version. I don't think we have Publisher as such, it may have been embedded on the XP disk as part of the operating system but I will have a look.

You will notice I have made several grammatical, punctuation or spelling errors in this note - I have done this specifically to give you the pleasure of correcting them.

2) From Tom Sharp

On a similarly digital way of spending time I’m currently cruising the mean streets of San Andreas. I have just got myself a ‘fro and a tattoo of Africa on my left upper arm. My enemies are the gang members in purple trousers and I’m looking for 100 of their tags to spray paint over.

I remember what happened when I first got Vice City. It slowly took over my life and I started eyeing up cars in real life to take on a joyride.

3) From Marty

> Write back soon and tell me why I don't like Mondays.

I can see no reason, because there are no reasons. What reasons do you need to
be shown?

Marty

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