otw 04/12/04

* MORE TO COME OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS *


msnzorz

Peter

Peter: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
leila: hiiiiiiiiiiii
Peter: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Peter: once, an ex was staying at mine
Peter: and she found a letter that a girl wrote when she was 14
Peter: i was 15
Peter: it was all about her school uniform and stuff
leila: hahaha
Peter: and my ex found it and thought it was a recent one
Peter: i had a lot of explaining to do
Peter: why have you not updated townmaus?
leila: once a week dude
Peter: should be once a day
leila: it's an "of the week" conceit innit
leila: maybe i'll start doing twice a week
leila: i don't want it to get too stupid tho
leila: just the best stuff
Peter: whats Sisyphean mean?
Peter: and why doesn't tom update his site?
leila: like Sisyphus
Peter: i though that was a disease
leila: yeah, jim's got it
Peter: im going to have Marty round
Peter: he comes round on his bike and smokes bifter with me
Peter: i wish he was gwen stefani

and

leila: do you know any spike milligan?
Peter: not really
Peter: only a bit of the goons stuff
Peter: i dont find him particularly funny
leila: my dad wants me to read some at his wedding
Peter: why don't you ask him if you could read some 'peter'?
Peter: just read some msnz;
leila: yeah
leila: i'll just read out some stuff about the guy from crackajack
Peter: yeah, they'll love that
Peter: perhaps i could stand behind you and wave?
leila: yes, ideal
Peter: and you can say that about drummers beating things rythmically withsticks
Peter: and i could stand behind you playing air drums and shaking my head solemly
Peter: perhaps i could even be the priest
Peter: i could do the entire vows in fish puns
leila: do you hake this woman...
Peter: in sickness and in kelp
leila: gill death do us carp
Peter: very good
leila: thanks
leila: to have and to goldfish this day forward

and

Peter: i was over at the osbourne house in california recently
Peter: just before their holiday to a large city in norway
Peter: oslo?
Peter: yes, yeas of drug abuse has affected his mobility
leila: or "his mood"
leila: or indeed "his altitude"
Peter: of course mood
Peter: i fell in love with a really hot lady. but she had me arrested for harrasment.she was from a big city in china
Peter: peking?
Peter: no, i was stealing her underwear
Peter: heres one of marty's
Peter: my girlfriend has a cannibal former lover from devon
Peter: exeter?
Peter: no, he only feasted on small children

and

Peter: oh i bought 'best ' the other day
Peter: not watched it yet
Peter: it was four quid in hmv
Peter: i basically bought you for four quid
leila: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Peter: yep


Ben

Ben: i am watching napoleon dynamite tonight
Ben: dave was going to come over
Ben: but then he didn't
Maus: why not?
Ben: because he's a moron
Ben: who goes on walks
Maus: he's going on a walk instead of going round to your house?
Maus: if only there was some way of combining the two activities

and

Ben: why didn't you want to see that invite
Ben: it was good
Ben: plus last year's
Maus: what?
Maus: i didn't want to see the invite?
Ben: you hate my files!
Maus: what?
Maus: wtf?
Maus: huh?
Maus: ungh?
Ben: you keep declining them
Maus: haha
Maus: that was a robot
Maus: i had no part of it
Ben: wh?
Maus: i didn't know you were trying to send me anything
Maus: something must have intercepted
Maus: some... force
Ben: ok
Maus: some little lemony snicket got in the way
Ben: well i've tried 3 times
Ben: i have got the message
Maus: i have not, apparently
Maus: it keeps being blocked!
Ben: i have used the same scan of a slice of toast
Ben: in all of them
Maus: you scanned a slice of toast?
Ben: sure
Ben: what, you haven't?
Maus: never tried it
Maus: perhaps i'll do that at your party
Maus: modern twist on the "photocopied arse" prank
Ben: indeed
Maus: safer than toasting a piece of paper anyway

and

Ben: i have lunch in the oven and have to mash some spuds.
Maus: be sure to do the "Close Encounters" sculpt with them
Ben: like i don't do that every day!


Tom and I: foreign keyboards

lovemaus: what is that square?
th0m: what?
lovemaus: after where you said "good"
th0m: erm, i don't know
th0m: i don't see one
lovemaus: there is a square
lovemaus: hmmmm
th0m: must be a browser menthol
lovemaus: spookstky
th0m: hahaha
th0m: it is a hex file
th0m: &FFFFFF
lovemaus: yhahahjajaa
lovemaus: hat
lovemaus: erm
lovemaus: what colour is that
th0m: white
lovemaus: is it ba
lovemaus: should be black
th0m: are you mental
th0m: it is "baa" in the sense that sheep are white
lovemaus: haha

---

yor:quotes (or "WNT ref otw")

Tom: Some of them are quite scary you know
Me: Listen, I've been watching the X Files since I was fortean years old. I'm sure I can cope.

----

emails

Tom Sharp: I’m not sending dicko any mags. He can come and get them.

Me: Poor Dicko! He lives in Scarborough! And his name is Dicko.

Tom Sharp: Doesn’t get much worse than that does it?

Me: when I worked at the school, a child applying to join the next
autumn was on file as "Anita Friend"

Tom Sharp: My home Ec teacher was called Pat. She married a Mr Mycock. Which is an unfortunate accident of marriage. What HIS parents were thinking when they called him Paul, I don’t know.

Me: there's a guardian G2 letters page in this

Tom Sharp: New Scientist did something for a while about Nominative Determinism. The idea that people embark on careers because of their names. Inspired by a paper on incontinence in the British Journal of Urology which was written by J.W. Splatt and D. Weedon.

Me: Maybe you are unconsciously following in the footsteps of the other Tom Sharpe and I am trying to emulate my hero, the journalist for the Middle East Times.

Tom Sharp: Liz Page is the MD of the Evening Press.

Me: Dicko lives in Scarborough.

Tom Sharp: Nice.

--

Me: hey laura have you seen this site?

Laura: I want some of them stickers they stick on things that say "ban comic sans"!! ooh! I've just seen you can print them out!

---
Sandy: On the other hand, fixed the mother fucking door knob [that you disassembled for no reason], and now it even locks! Some bad boy I am. I haven't yet dared lock it while its closed though, because I know it'll choose that moment to bust, and I'll be trapped in the bathroom forever, which would be less than amusing. I don't trust it much, myself. You can try it if you get
back.

keep it real
your pal, sn.

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This week people got here by typing...

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advertising "tom sharp" (Yahoo)
townmaus (Google)
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Yor:Quotes

Me: Would they let you have pets if you moved into one of the new flats?
Tom: I doubt it
Me: A guinstea pig's not a pet really, though, is it? It's a member of the family.