0 + \/\/ 12.12.04

Yor:Quotes

Tom: Do you know why there is no Nobel Prize for maths?
Me: No
Tom: While Mr Nobel was inventing prizes for things, his wife was copping off with a mathematician. He didn't make a maths prize because he hated mathematicians!
Me: Is that like how you hate mediocre comedians?

---

Msnzorz

Ben: so we lost the quiz last night
Ben: badly
Ben: dave green is a moron
Maus: did he go out for a walk half way through?
Ben: wish he had
Ben: he made me change 'how the grinch stole christmas' to 'the grinch who
stole christmas'
Ben: gosh!
Maus: have either of you seen the film?
Ben: no
Ben: but that's just called the grinch
Maus: so what is this christmas thing?
Ben: it's a book
Ben: by the doctor
Maus: right
Maus: doctor who?
Ben: seuss
Maus: sorry i knew
Maus: i was making a funny

and


Ben:   MACS are BETTER!
Ben:   get the message!
Ben:   you are the new Ellen Feiss
Ben:   you have switched
Maus:   haha
Maus:   one step at a time
Maus:   i'm still using a PC for static enterprises
Ben:   it was a really good paper
Ben: "i'm leila johnston and i'm an arts journalist"
Maus:   haha
Maus:  tom is explaining this reference to me
Ben:   ok
Maus:   i am understanding and laughing
Ben:   have you seen the clip?
Maus:   no i have not!
Ben:   dude you have to
Ben:   http://www.ellenfeiss.net/
Ben:   click on ellen's ad
Maus: haha
Maus:   "it devoured my paper"
Ben: it de-voured my paper

and

Ben:   it's a good issue of the Onion
Maus: ah i dont look at it much these days
Ben:   me neither
Maus:   not since it became popular
Ben:   http://www.theonion.com/index.php?pre=1
Ben:   i prefer their earlier funnier websites
Maus:   of course you do
Maus:   from 20 years ago
Maus: made on punchcards
Ben:   and photocopied
Maus:   and morsecoded across the channel
Ben:   and sold at punk gigs
Maus:   ace
Ben: i am going to meet helen mccrory's mum for some unknown reason tonight
Maus: who's helen mccrory?
Ben:  she was in casanova
Ben: she was anna karenina on the telly
Maus:  ooh
Ben:  actor
Maus:  look at you
Ben: i know
Maus:   ah, "you're so cool ben, you are great...you are so sweet and kind and charming.,.my MUM WOULD LOVE YOU"
Maus: "...SHE IS OLD TOO"
Maus:   is it like that?
Ben:   yes
Ben:   sadly

Tom is running sentences through a voice synthesiser at the lab, and playing through the computer in his room. I can hear it but he can't. Hilarity ensues.

tom: "I am making a mental"
Maus: eye am May King amen TALL?
tom: hahah
Maus: it seemed to say
Maus: that was male AND female at once
Maus: he said "menthol" really quickly
Maus : like he was in a rush
Maus: what?
Maus: say again?
tom:  no
Maus: please
Maus: " time up and give me my menthol?"
tom:   haha
tom:   hurry up
Maus: again
tom:   he is makin a rush
Maus:   time up  and give me my menthol
Maus:   time?
tom:   HURRY
Maus:  ok
Maus: just about
Maus:  sounded more like it that time
Maus:   that hurry
Maus:   wait
Maus:   that doesnt make sense
Maus: "hurry up and give me my menthol"
tom:   yes
tom: because you said he was in a rush
Maus:   oh right
Maus: a what?
Maus:   what what?
Maus: again
Maus:  can i ben?
tom:   haha
Maus:   kay rule can i ben?
tom:  hahah
tom:   it is 'making a roll' and 'am i better'
Maus:   may king kay rule
Maus:   cam eye bedder
tom:  haha
Maus: haha

and

tom:   i like thinking about the consonants in your surname
tom:   "hnst"
Maus:   you are weird
tom:   can you change your name to johnstktsktson
Maus:   no
Maus:   because then it would end in "son"
Maus:   johnkschtskstontck
Maus:   sandy asked on the phone if you were there
Maus: he sounded disappointsted
tom:   haha ah
tom:   did you tell him i am makin a come
Maus:  i didnt know you liked him that much!
tom:  well done leila
tom:   i'm feigning disdain but obviously i laughed


Peter:  i went to the residents meeting last night and  there was a lady who i half recognised
Peter:   then realised it was jo guest
Peter:   she lives upstairs
Maus:   haha no way
Peter:   i had a chat with her
Peter:   i was trying not to say 'i had many wanks over you as a teenager'
Peter: she's very worried about the leaky roof
Maus:   is that code for something?
Peter:   and she was saying she had some appearance in a night club
Peter:   and i said 'oh, what do you do then'
Peter:  and she laughed and obviously knew i knew her
Peter: then she got me some cheap fags from the kebab shop
Peter: shes nice actually
Peter:   bit dipsy and looks a bit old now
Peter: but didnt seem daft or anything
Peter:   http://www.livingtv.co.uk/famousandfrightened/celebs_JG.html
Peter:  she is frightened of ghosts
Peter: im going to start knocking on the roof so she comes down
Peter:   everntially she'll come down
Peter:   ill say 'ooh yeah, i've seen loads of ghosts'
Peter:    'you'd best come in'
Peter:
 "  Jo is single at the moment and says that she is happy on her own, living in a luxury flat in Hackney, east London. After a number of disastrous relationships she has given up looking for a permanent partner. She said, "I'm not desperately looking. In fact, I can't imagine what a Mr Right would look like or be like. I ditched any specific criteria when I turned 30. In fact, if he has a pulse - a BIG"

Maus:   haha "i had my bedroom exorcised" :the rest of the house is full of them though
Peter: hhehe
Peter:   yes, just the bed
Peter:   mr right is tall , pasty and is on msn all the time
Peter:   im thinking of an excuse to go round
Peter:   she lives on her own with a dog
Peter:  *thinks about getting a dog*
Maus:   steal the dog
Maus:   hold it hostage
Peter:   "the ghost has got it"
Maus:   "your dog went missing? Mine too! aw i'm so traumatised. can we comfort each other?"
Peter:  im sure we will become firm friends
Peter: phone
Maus:  k

Maus:   is it jo?
Peter:  dad
Maus:   "pete mate, you're a nice guy. but why do you keep making holes in your ceiling?
Maus:   how's your father?
Peter:   "to get the ghosts out"
Maus:   hahaha
Peter:   "ghost holes"
Maus:   hahhaa
Peter:   the next residents meeting
Peter:   jo proposes all the flats get 'ghost holes'
Peter:
   "Once, Jo saw the spirit of her grandmother and explained the experience as being very peaceful. "I was on this photo shoot, having some shots done on a beach, when I looked over and saw my gran as clear as day, she was just standing on the beach looking over at me, then she just disappeared into thin air. I found out later that day that my gran had passed away and I had seen her vision as she had died."

Peter:   brilliant
Peter:   her gran watches her do grumble pix
Peter:   as she died
Maus:   Hqahaa
Maus:   no wonder she died
Peter:   bet her gran was proud of her
Peter:   her mothers first daughter
Peter: showing her flange to the british army


Email

Alistair: Yeah, Incredibles looks alright, I just find it funny that you both went
to the cinema for it. On its own it's not funny at all, you
understand; but combine it with your solo flight to Cats and Dogs and
bingo! I'm a-laughin'.

Me: Don't forget A.I and Pokemon 2, which I also went to see on my own in
the afternoons...and "Crush", and "The Lion King". Give me a minute, there must be
about 30 of these. Some new rotten Kilmer flicks out at the moment I see. Save my seat, Mr Odeon!

Alistair: Just looking up "crush"... My God. Please tell me it's this one: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0245407/ I went to the cinema to see the Sweetest Thing. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0253867/ Yeah. Really.

Me: Of course it's that one. Well done on the Sweetest Thing, I don't know which is worse. I like the way we're competitive like this.


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