grown-up jokes

Peter: hello
Maus: hiiiii
P: m can see and hear me
m: have you got skype?
P: how are you leila
Maus: haha skype
Maus: hahaa
Maus: no, i have a phone though
P: we have skype
P: ha
P: you live in the 1840s
m: get with the 21 century dude
Maus: actually macs have a sound chat thing, called "bonjour" or "rendevous"
m: macs
m: !
Maus: haha skype! skype!
P: have you got google earth its magic
Maus: what is this magic middle earth of which you speak?
P: google earth
P: its brilliant
Maus: oh really?
Maus: what does it do?
P: good question
Maus: is it like Risk?
P: no
P: its like a big satellite map and you can zoom in on my house and see me through the window now
P: its the most impressive thing i've seen
P: this week
P: oh if only you had sound we are doing a duet of a cast song
P: you could hear it
Maus: could have stayed on standby?
Maus: i saw it on the bbc?
P: no thats shed 7!
Maus: oh yeah
P: know your britpop
Maus: what a mistakah to makah
P: those attempted suicide bombers
P: they mecca big mistake
m: well done
Maus: oh dear
m: no, really, well done
Maus: is that a bingo joke?
P: no its a muslim joke
Maus: i knew really
P: sorry i will try harder
Maus: what's better Gala Bingo or Mecca?
P: gala
P: is much better
P: i think
Maus: bingoing a while?
P: i only went once




m: I've missed The SMoking Room - is it any good?
Maus: missed it too
Maus: is robert webb gay?
m: Robert Webb?
Maus: from the Smoking Room
Maus: Bruiser, etc
m: Ah
m: Peep SHow?
Maus: yes!
m: He is fit
Maus: yes
Maus: i imagine he must be gay
Maus: he is like Little Britain man
Maus: Walliams
m: Well, David "Walliams" Williams is allegedly straight
Maus: yes
m: He's rubbish as well
Maus: he's not rubbish!
m: George Dawes is much better
Maus: hahaha
Maus: hhahahahahaa
Maus: i like the idea of obstinately calling him george dawes also
m: it's really pissing down here
Maus: look out for tornadoes
Maus: tornadii
Maus: cappucini
Maus: spagettos
Maus: all those things
m: I'm so glad I live in a house not a bivowack
Maus: haha
m: Seriously though - isn't DW just a bit annoying? SUrely ANthony Michael Head is fitter
Maus: well, i'd do Head
Maus: but i'd be thinking of Walliams
m: you're sick
m: Are you sure you're straight?

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New Feature : "About the size of"

1) The Shuttle mission is a boon for these peaches...

"Shuttle Discovery Astronauts undertook a second spacewalk on monday...Their main objective was to remove and replace a control moment gyroscope (CMG) that had not worked properly on the ISS since the June of 2002. The orbiting platform has four gyroscopes that maintain its proper position relative to Earth. Each CMG weighs 300kg (660lbs) and is about the size of a washing machine."

and, from the same article

2) "A suitcase-sized piece of foam fell away from the Columbia orbiter during its launch, punching a hole through heatshield panels in the left wing."
(Thanks for the helpful comparisons, BBC News science/nature)

3) Hodgkins Lymphoma survivor: "It was about the size of a golf ball," said Sandra Davies. "Absolutely protruding from my neck." and, more mysterious still, "Apparently it was twice the size on the inside as it was on the outside."

4) Not BBC but possibly my favourite...

"Inverters have a lighter-socket plug on one end, and on the other they have one or more standard electrical sockets like the ones in the walls of your home ... Standard inverters usually start around the size of a hamburger"


and another new feature: Almost Spoonerisms

e.g.

1) Battlestar Galactica...Startlebat Elastica

2) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...Choccy and the Charlotte factory