<3 otw ever <3

♥ ♥ ♥ Happy Walentines Day.♥ ♥ ♥

I've tried to establish some sort of compromise. So-

...for those who want a blog- this section


Occasional feature iBlog

Today I saw a policeman on a mountain bike. You don't see that very often. But I suppose they have to move with the times.

I wish people would stop asking me to reserve Harry Potter and the Horror of Horrors or whatever the latest one is called. I mean, come on, do I *look* like a Harry Potter fan?

I had an interview this week where they gave me a "writing test". This consisted of composing a newspaper advert for my previous job (don't worry, I made something up) and writing a letter of rejection for someone who had reached interview stage but whose skills were not up to scratch. Seriously. Do me a lemon.

I stopped short of bitter irony, but couldn't resist using the address of the company who were interviewing me, and signing my name with the title "Director". They gave me the job. Not the Director one, the one I'd applied for. Oh, you understood.

Apologies for disappointing all those depending on me to have seen The Special Tony Blair version of Richard and Judy. I didn't see it. I've actually been busy this week, again, and not just with my usual duties: noticing the similarities between the 1940s and the 1960s, playing iSketch, painting my nails in bed and devouring any visual media featuring screeching middle-aged autists (although I admit I did find time to indulge each of those passions a tiny bit.) I just finished some genuinely ludicrous essay on the postmodernism of cacti or something. I can't believe I keep getting away with this stuff. Kerching, however.

Inspired by Sally's old email address, "ilovemenwithbeards@...", and the way that ian signed his first email to me "ian'yes this is my real name' macho", I'm doing a spot for imaginary website address ideas. It doesn't have to be long, but it should make me laugh. To kick off- some I thought of-

http://www.thisiswhatIimagineyourdadlookslike.net

http://www.youwalklikeavirgin.co.uk

http://www.allmyexboyfriendsliveinbristol.org


iSketch screenshots otw Roadblocks on these at the moment, so cut&paste these ginormous urls for now...

1 http://www.angelfire.com/extreme/lovemaus/image001.gif

2 http://www.angelfire.com/extreme/lovemaus/image004.gif

3 http://www.angelfire.com/extreme/lovemaus/image007.gif


Top 6 msn gif strings (Updated next week only if I can think of any more)

1:

2:

3:

4:

5:

6:

Msnz

ben: she is ever so nice
Maus: coxy?
ben: yes
ben: she's a doll
ben: me and dave and danny once did a tv pilot with her
Maus: ah! the girlie show?
ben: consumo!
Maus: don't know that one?
ben: haha
ben: and you never will.

and

Maus: the yoghurt stuff is very funny i think
ben: yes that is funny
ben: he is funny
ben: and he does like yoghurts
ben: but if she was a consumer at one of his shows
ben: ie an audience member
ben: he would feel entirely justified commenting on how much she was
enjoying the show
ben: especially if she had a loud laugh
Maus: hahahah right
ben: he expects silence and no comment from a checkout girl
ben: that is snobbery
Maus: "Someone likes comedy"
ben: indeed
ben: someone finds my observations on life amusing
Maus: ah but she's not being paid to speak or entertain
ben: true true
ben: they should hire mute checkout girls
ben: or non english speakers
Maus: yes...
Maus: how was your audition?
ben: the first comment the casting lady said was "those are some glasses!"
ben: indicating my glasses
Maus: did you say "someone likes glasses"

Email

Sandy: we've had a few people round to look at the flat, and a man came about the dryer and reported that the fridge was _obsolete_ like that wasn't made plainly fucking obvious by the fact that I have to get up early every morning to shovel some more fucking coal into it to keep it running. But the chap was nice, a kind of peripatetic appliance-master, a good job to have, I thought.

Gemma bought a car-shaped cake from sainsbury's. It was £8.99, reduced (because it had a big dent in the [icing] bonnet) to £4.50, then reduced again to 9p. Incredible. 9p. Quite nice too, though the cake itself looks uncannily like close-cell insulation foam, with almost the same texture. Probably is the same, just with more sugar. She also bought some other stuff for 9p, but none were as good as the car-shaped cake for 9p. I'm amazed.


Copy of e-mail received by B&Q customer services:

Dear Sir/Madam

My congratulations to you on getting a yacht to leave the UK on 28th
November 2004, sail 27,354 miles around the world and arrive back 72
days later.

Could you please let me know when the kitchen I ordered 96 days ago
will be arriving from your warehouse 13 miles away?

Yours Sincerley



Feedback

1) What should I wear to my Dad's wedding next week?

2) Who read this but *doesn't want* to be quoted on this site (ever or any more)? I won't be offended. As long as there are weeks, there will otweeks.

and 3) (Related) Should I make all the quotes on here anonymous?

4) Who'd like to see a best of compilation/ "clip show" townmaus from time to time?

5) Who wants me to email me them the new stuff once a week?

...and for those who want more than one update a week- OTWednesdays new half-weekly update!!!