Best to check on Mondays & Wednesdays...

msn

Peter: i saw a whole load of funnymen today outside my office
Maus: oh yes
Peter: i watched hardees funeral from the window
Maus: Wow!
Peter: i could only make out the fat ones as i was quite far away
Peter: phil jupitus
Peter: i was supposed to be taking some clients to the pub where they had the wake
Peter: thought id best not
Peter: as it would be full of comedians getting their cocks out
Maus: haha
Peter: i thought of you
Peter: i dunno why

and

Maus: i might see herring's standup in london in a couple of weeks
Maus: want to come?
Peter: aye, for sure
Peter: hooray
Peter: tell him it was a different peter who called him an above average student comedian
Peter: the bad peter
Maus: that was about stewart lee anyway
Peter: same thing


Rich: i don't understand what you mean about the whole url;
Maus: haha
Rich: you are crazy
Maus: http......com
Rich: yes, you put that in the bit where you have inverted commas and then you put what you want it to say in the other bit
Rich: i have never done it differently
Rich: in all the years I have used html
Maus: haha
Ben: the inverted commas are in the anchor thing, not in the text
Rich: i don't use any inverted commas anywhere
Rich: none
Rich: if i do it won't link
Ben: href= ""
Ben: really?
Rich: no href = http://etc
Ben: ok
Rich: i am like a god to you people
Rich: when will you understand this
Rich: ?
Ben: i always though you needed the ""
Ben: thank you richard
Maus: he has used "" in the blog
Ben: you are a god to me
Rich: not me hasn't
Maus: yes you have!
Ben: haha
Ben: you two!
Rich: maybe to begin with cos you told me wrong, but not anymore
Ben: it's like yoda and luke
Maus: what crazy new quoteless html is this?
Maus: try single quotes
Maus: < a href 'http....' >
Rich: i don't need to. It works anyway
Maus: yes but it would make me feel better
Rich: it is funny how I know how it works and you don't
Rich: almost like it was me who knew it first
Rich: i think it is I who is owed the apology
Ben: the pupil is now the master!
Ben: i am sorry richard
Rich: good
Rich: all is in balance in the universe again, once leila has apologised
Maus: let me know when you can do forms richard
Maus: then i will apologise
Ben: haha
Rich: i can do forms now. I taught you
Maus: remind me, o great one
Rich: forms are the easiest
Rich: i am not falling for that trick
Rich: if you know then you can say
Maus: you invented that trick
Maus: i asked you first
Rich: that is how the trick works
Rich: only an honest person asks it second
Rich: qed
Rich: i know about forms



Emails

Tim: Because it may be a while before I put my card
remembering thing on my website, here is the basic
idea:

If you were just remembering which kings have been
dealt, you would set up a table in your head going:

King Spades :: K Clubs :: K Hearts :: K Diamonds

You represent the table using binary so if you have
seen a card you put a 1 there, if not you leave it as
zero. Therefore you may have something like this:

1 :: 0 :: 1:: 0 ===> 1010

As each card comes up you mark it off so eventually
you would get 1111.

You can convert the four digit binary number to hex
easily:

0001: 1
0010: 2
0011: 3
0100: 4
0101: 5
0110: 6
0111: 7
1000: 8
1001: 9
1010: a
1011: b
1100: c
1101: d
1110: e
1111: f

Therefore to remember which kings have been dealt you
just remember one letter or digit.

To remember more cards you remember more digits.

e.g. King, Queen, Jack : "fa4" for example

It would perhaps be a bit hard to remember 13 digits
though for a whole pack.

The hardest part to this is filling the bit for a new
card in your table. Technically you are "or"ing the
number. With practice it becomes a lot easier to
visualise what the binary number looks like for any
hex number.

At the moment it probably takes me at most a second to
add another card into the table.

I really do not know if there is any use to this at
all. I managed to mildly impress someone by going
through a pack and saying that there was such and such
a card in the last few. I think they would probably
have been more impressed if they'd seen/understood all
the trouble I'd gone to to work it out.

Soon everyone will be using my binary/hex card
remembering technique and winning at whatever it is
that it might be useful in. It will transform the
nature of the thing that some people do.


Genuine offer of work I received via email

"subject: plagiarism the cost of....
pages: 6
sources: 6
format: mla
academic_level: college
writing_skills: good
due: the 14 of Feb.2005
payment: paypal
comment: what kind of details do you need. ok then .. i have a term paper due February 14 on the subject of plagiarism and i have too many things to do if you could help i would be grateful......"


Entertaining instances of me online perpetuating vain self-googling

1) easily amused
... affairs, hopefully. 08 November 2003. Sign outside a shop courtesy of Leila
Johnston. 'Notice: Tomorrow Will Be Close'. Either a sign of mortal warning or missing a final 'd'.
07 November 2003

2)Stardate 10.06.2000
» Leila Johnston weaves together science, philosophy and theology with verve and
clarity" JOHN POLKINGHORNE, PRESIDENT OF QUEENS COLLEGE, CAMBRIDGE. ...

3)Classic Gaming Expo UK :: View Forum - Film Sightings
... Topics, Replies, Author, Views, Last Post. Soylent Green of course, 0, Lovemaus,
56, Sun Aug 01, 2004 1:43 pm Lovemaus View latest post. Star ...

4)Jah Jah Dub
... "Meat in a Johnston Sandwich", the autobiography of Martin Davies. -"Any Tom,
Tom or Tom", the autobiography of Leila Johnston.